When you are sick, you usually deteoriate. Your physical functions are simply not working that well.

I remember when I got sick, seriously, the first time. It was just after the dot coooom boom. I was working as a project leader in various IT companies, and consequently fell when the industry fell. That was a pretty hard stop.

What happened was, that I got fired a couple of times, as the IT world collapsed. At the end of those strings of firing, I got really, really sick.

I had hit my head on a wall, and suffered a severed head trauma, a brain damage that just didn’t want to go away.

It stayed like that for a couple of years, still is with me to this day.

For a year I was home on my couch, looking up in the ceiling. I couldn’t really do anything but look up in ceiling, because my brain was so damaged, that it couldn’t work with any input. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t watch television. The only thing I could do, was to listen to classical radio. I found a German classical radio, that I really loved. I can still hear the jingles; “wir Lieben classical, wir Lieben, wir Lieben….”.

After a year I slowly recovered, and now twenty years after, there is no more, or very little left of the disease.

While I was so sick, I ran into other people that had the same disease. You somehow end up in a community that has the same problems as you have.

Most of them today have miserable lives, still sick, more or less. Some more, some less. That is the way this disease work.

So, what did I do to get over my disease?

I went down on my knees, and I started praying. I prayed hard and long, putting all of my devastated heart into that prayer. I knew, that this was it, either I started getting better, or I was done for.

You know, it kind of worked. After the prayer that I really put all of my soul and everything of me in, I got new ideas on how to work on the disease, and these new ideas really worked.

Basically my brain needed calm and quiet. I gave it that, by meditating.

I meditated for hours and days, just to give my brain a break from the constant barrage of stress and thought.

After some years, I became a new and wiser man.

I still miss the carelessness of my youth, not having to care about anything. But I also do recognise, that my brush with death, and my ability to claw myself out of the hole, is a natural part of growing up and becoming mature.

That is life, you look death in the eyes, and you find your faith in that moment.

So this is it, at least, to my experience. If you are sick, start praying, and go down your knees. Maybe, just maybe, you end up a better man or woman, and start caring for what this is all about; being that honest, sympathetic and true person, that tries his best to make a difference.

You may also really become stronger, and wiser.

It is all about one thing; faith.

G-d bless the will to be strong in the face of this awful disease that has struck us all, and G-d bless all those who are living through the hell of being sick. I know how it feels, but it will get better.

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